So many families seem to have it all together for Advent, don’t they? Christmas trees acquired and beautifully decorated; Advent wreaths lit while small children sing “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel;” devotionals read while sipping a cup of hot coffee. Advent is planned, done and dusted, and now they just get to sit back and relax.
I’m sure this IS true for some families. But I strongly suspect that for the majority of people this is not the case. My haphazardly-decorated-by-children tree looks lovely on Instagram for morning prayer, but just out of frame is my desk overrun with homeschool books and endless piles of scrap paper. We’ve managed to light our Advent wreath each night so far, but I gave up on a Jesse Tree after the first day when I realized it was stressing me out trying to fit more into our short family dinner time. I’m already behind on Advent devotionals and my coffee is perennially cold.
It’s taken me years to reach a place where not Getting It Right by Day 3 isn’t an invitation to descend into despair and misplaced perfectionism. I realized something about Advent a couple years ago that absolutely blew my mind. Are you ready? Going slow in your decorations and preparations IS Advent. It’s baked into what God is calling us to in this season. God doesn’t want what we think is perfect; He wants US. He wants our hearts to begin to love Him even the tiniest bit as much as He loves us.
Going slow in your decorations and preparations IS Advent. It’s baked into what God is calling us to in this season.
I emphasize planning for Advent because that takes so much pressure off of our shoulders in terms of decision-making, but the sneaky reason I recommend planning in advance is because it removes that stress from your mind and your heart so that you can make room for God. We spend so much time and energy on how we think Advent should look and feel that we can lose track of the Advent that’s best for us right now. You may have the mental bandwidth and physical energy to lean into decorating and traditions, or you may be sick, exhausted, and/or burned out after an endless pandemic and never-ending routine changes.
So go slow this Advent. Feel free to put your tree up when you get to it, and decorate it over the course of a week. Haven’t started your Advent devotional and intensive prayer routine yet? Guess what? The Advent police won’t come from you, so it’s OK to catch up in Week 2 and scale back your prayer goals. Advent calendars still in storage on December 1? Your kids won’t mind bulk-eating chocolate and opening little cardboard doors once they’re available.
Here’s something revolutionary: If a new or existing Advent tradition/event/thing feels really, really hard right now you have my permission to…just not do it.
Here’s something revolutionary: If a new or existing Advent tradition/event/thing feels really, really hard right now you have my permission to…just not do it. This won’t be your last Advent (God willing), so there’s always next year. It’s also OK to admit that you only “want” to do something out of a sense of obligation to relatives or what “good Catholics” do, in which case there IS no obligation. The only obligations we have are to God, and all He wants is to spend some more time with you as you anticipate the birth of His Son. And that requires no Pinterest-worthy decorating.