Judas is an easy villain, is he not? He checks all the boxes: Complains about not giving to the poor while simultaneously stealing from the disciples’ purse? Check. Back-stabbing friend? Check. ‘Coward’ who kills himself rather than face the consequences of his actions? It feels like an uncomplicated character study, but the older I become the more uncomfortable I’ve become with this narrative.

Who was Judas Iscariot? He’s one of the more mysterious apostles: we don’t know definitively where he was from or how he was called by Jesus. He doesn’t get much screen time in the gospels until the end of Jesus’ life. Scripture offers no explanation for why Judas decided to betray Jesus, other than a brief mention in John that the Devil had influenced him. I very much wish we knew more about him, because I find him to be a fascinating, tragic figure that we could learn much from.

 Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I betray him to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he began to look for an opportunity to betray him.

Matthew 26:14-16

Today is Spy Wednesday, a day that I find to be solemn as we ponder the betrayal of Judas. Following his traitorous kiss of Jesus, he doesn’t behave the way we would expect the villain of this story to behave. If Judas is a greedy thief who is only looking out for himself, wouldn’t he have promptly run away to spend his 30 pieces of silver blood money on something contemptible? The Bible is bursting with stories of evil men who receive their comeuppance after committing atrocities, yet Judas’ story ends at his own hand. Acts 1:18-19 gives an alternate, gruesome ending that hints at some divine karma, but the commonly accepted narrative is that Judas immediately felt remorseful for his actions and committed suicide.

When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. He said, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” Throwing down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed; and he went and hanged himself. 

Matthew 27:3-5

Judas was a great sinner who betrayed his Lord. So were the entirety of the apostles, save for John, who abandoned Jesus in fear during his last hours. Peter, who would later go on to found the Church, denied Jesus three times in the lead-up to his crucifixion. Paul, arguably the man most responsible for spreading Christianity far beyond Israel, was a great persecutor of Christians. And what of us, are we not great sinners?

This is not an effort to canonize Judas, but to encourage ourselves to consider the ways in which his story may overlap with our own. Have we sold our souls in pursuit of money, entertainment, or other earthly pleasures? Have we ever denied or downplayed our faith in an effort to not draw attention to ourselves? Have we betrayed a close friend or relative with our words or actions?

Judas could have been a great man and a great evangelizer of the faith had he made different decisions. If, rather than hang himself, he had repented and faced the consequences of his betrayal, would Jesus and the apostles have forgiven him? He was made in the image and likeness of God, just like each one of us, and he was beloved by Jesus. Jesus called him and chose him. He calls us, too. Will we respond like Judas or like Peter?